It’s been a while since I have written something personal. Such journals not only help you to unwind, but also become a support system for others indirectly.
Let me start by asking you, how many times have you felt confident & beautiful, and equal number of times you were put down by some chauvinistic guy? Are you mending a broken heart? Do you feel terrible about loving the wrong person? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone; we’ve all been there. Social media is amazing; yes. But it shows us a camouflaged picture of everyone’s life. You think they are living a happy consistent life, travelling the world, sharing pictures; but do you know how lonely they feel? How even so much money cannot solve their depression? Everyone has problems..but the way they show it is very different.
People who follow me on social media..read my blogs; let me tell you something very truthfully..my life isn’t perfect too. I’m quite frustrated with work, confused about my future; and yes I am mending a broken heart after being in a relationship for almost 2 years. I recently read something amazing that made so much sense, “Going through heartbreak can feel like being underwater when you need to breathe. We build our lives with someone we trust and care for, and then, in the blink of an eye, it’s all gone. This can leave people with sorrow, anger, and some serious questions — about ourselves and the future.”
When I look back, trying to wonder what went wrong, I end up questioning myself; was I wrong?, wasn’t I the perfect person to be with?; my conscience replies to me. No..you were perfect. This is for all women out there, who have a big heart, who are warm, friendly, love unconditionally & are super independent..never ever doubt yourself; you gave your 100% to somebody..but probably they just deserved lets say a fat, ugly witch.
But that does not mean you suck your sadness inside you, punish yourself by not eating, sleeping or doing things that you love. You need to fight back. Yes, it’s going to take a lot of time..you have probably thousands of memories swimming in your head trying to find peace..pictures, cards, gifts..seriously just trash it. What’s the point if all they are going to do is make you feel miserable? You will hear many excuses, and you will also be blamed..”you just never understood me” – Umm you are not my class 7 Physics text book that I should understand you. You obviously cannot be more complicated than that! This made me realise..relationships are fragile and difficult. We have so many inspiring people around us to help us. Have you seen Ranbir Kapoor? Everyone knows what he did, and how Deepika Padukone channelled all her sadness into her work, and look at the stardom she’s achieved, and just see where is he..at the downfall of his career. You may think you will take revenge, but it’s karma that plays a major role in punishing. If she can move on from such a gorgeous man, so should you. Seriously looks do not matter at all! I really admire her for speaking up about heart break so openly without any apprehensions.
Such incidents in life teach you major lessons; it suddenly shows you what’s important and what is not. It makes you prioritize your life quickly, and suddenly gives you a very clear vision. Also it shows you the people who matter and those who don’t. You will suddenly realise that there is so much love swarming around you..making you giddy with laughter & blessings. It also makes you feel, that you are not alone. One of my best friends sent me a very beautiful picture that said,
I have studied Psychology for 5 years, but when it comes to handling my own emotions & problems, I am just terrible! Yes I am guilty of googling really stupid stuff like ‘how to take revenge on a cheater’ or ‘how to quickly mend a broken heart’..but even after all this, I’m trying to be strong.
Yes let me not lie to you; I still wake up with a broken heart, it’s very difficult to get out of bed, I take a lot of time to get dressed..work like a robot..come back and sleep; and hey that’s okay. I have come to realise that it’s sometimes okay to be sad..the “stages of grief” like one of my very good friends suggested! I think am finally moving from denial to acceptance and so should you.
Life goes on. You see so many bizarre stories about people killing themselves in love..I remember being quite depressed after hearing about the Balika Vadhu girl committing suicide and she was exactly my age..and it’s scary..just think about the people who truly love you; and I am sure getting up in the mornings won’t be that difficult after a couple of weeks. Otherwise there is always the ‘other men’ who help you move on..definitely take that help! I guarantee it’s tried & tested, and surely works.
Lets really teach our women to speak up about such issues rather than ignoring it and entering depression with no fault of theirs. We can surely save a lot of lives. For now watch back to back girly films and dig your face in a big jar of red velvet cake! And girls..always remember..once a cheater is always a cheater.
Lots of love, M.